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Swingers Must Learn to Cope with Jealousy

Jealousy arises among all couples the first time they decide to start swinging. The trick is learning how to avoid its negative effects on the fun you are having. It is best to deal with it early on before it has a permanent effect on the relationships that you have taken so long to cultivate.

swinger couple getting things started
Swingers sometimes also get to experience pangs of jealousy.

If you desire to join the swinger lifestyle, you must teach yourself how to keep jealousy at bay. Here the tips to keep in mind.

1. Recognize you are Jealous

Even experienced swingers will sometimes experience pangs of jealousy. One of the worst things that anyone can do when they have feelings of jealousy is to try and bury them deep inside. At some point, these feelings will come to the surface explosively.

When you experience, it is best to acknowledge it for what it is. In some cases, it may even be a good idea for you to discuss with your partner. Let them understand that you are feeling jealous. By airing your feelings, it will help you handle you the pangs better. Remind yourself that the both of you agreed to it and you should stop being jealous. It is an effective way of moving beyond your petty feelings of jealousy.

2. Make it About Your Partner

The main reason why you may develop feelings of jealousy is that you make it all about you.

When you are feeling jealous, it is mainly because you are thinking about what you are not getting. Additionally, the feeling comes from the feeling of losing something. However, if you change the focus from all about you to your partner, it can help dissipate any jealousy feelings you may have. When you join other swingers, keep in mind that it makes your partner happy.

Since it is your desire to be with a happy partner, focus on that. The positive thoughts will help to erode any negative emotions that you may be experiencing. If you do that, it will help your partner feel happy too. Without that, your partner may have to walk on eggshells each time you join other swingers. The result is that he or she will be unable to have fun. Such negative energy will no doubt be transferred into your relationship.

3. Focus on the Cause of Your Jealously

Jealousy is like anger; it is a negative emotion that emanates from a certain point. Just like anger can be managed, so can jealousy. If you are experiencing jealousy, it may be because you fear to lose your partner. However, you should keep in mind that there is little chance of that happening.

Besides that, bear in mind that the more you fell jealous, the more you partner feels distant from you. Every minute you spend feeling jealous is a minute you could be using to express your love to your partner. Thus, your fear of losing your partner will be enabled by your actions. Keep this in mind and remember that your partner loves you; they will not leave you just because of some random sex with a stranger.

4. Place Yourself in Your Partner's Shoes

Try and imagine a situation where you could throw out a random comment about some gorgeous person you see on the streets. You would feel relaxed being with such a person. At the end of the day, your love for them would grow.

Now imagine a situation where you had to carefully think about each word you said or how you looked at other people. In such a relationship, you would feel stifled. It is the same situation in which your partner feels each time you scroll your face when they are with another person at a swingers' club. At some point, they will just give up. By understanding how complicated it is for your partner, you will be able to overcome your jealousy.

Instead of being jealous, be grateful for every minute you can spend with your partner. At some point, you will forget you ever felt jealous.

5. Stick to the Rules

Newbie swingers will have a huge problem with jealousy. The only way to avoid this is to have ground rules that must not be broken. For instance, the both of you can agree not to have sexual intercourse for the first few months.

Additionally, the both of you can agree that you will not join other swingers if one partner is not present. You may also agree that you will never meet a fellow swinger more than once. All of these are rules that can help you to overcome any feelings of jealousy that could affect your happiness.

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