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Flirt Magazine

Foodies Meet the Erotic: Erotic Dinner Parties that Serve Up Consent

If you've never attended an erotic dinner party, here's what you need to expect.

erotic party dinner getting into action
An erotic dinner party can really elevate and titillate the senses!

A dark venue, moodily lit, with amazing platters of finger food, amazing sideshow acts like bellydancers and fire-breathers and fellow guests whose costumes leave very, very little to the imagination.

What's the point of an erotic dinner party?

With their human trays and vaudevillian spectacles for entertainment, erotic dinner parties can feel like you're in one of those dystopian novels where no one cares about each other and decadence rules the day.

But it's only when you attend an erotic dinner party that you realize that there are no barriers to entry (tickets are quite affordable) and the servers have one very important currency - possibly, the most important - that puts them on equal footing as the guests: consent.

An erotic dinner party is all about making people feel safe to express themselves sensually in an otherwise seemingly sexually-charged atmosphere. Expose it to normalize it, is the idea.

An erotic dinner party can really elevate and titillate the senses, taking an everyday act like a dinner party and making it at once, more public and yet, somehow, more intimate. It's all about freedom of expression.

The food is a nice add-on.

The Rules of Engagement

At erotic dinner parties that are well-established, communication is the key. You can't expect to ogle people's breasts and then jerk off in the corner. It's simply not that kind of venue. It's not a peep show and people who come to erotic dinner parties aren't usually primarily there for the hookups.

While you are indeed free to ask another member of the party of make out with you, people don't engage in sexual acts at the party. If they're interested in having casual sex, they leave together. Couples are welcome to engage with other couples and express interest in "swapping" partners but, again, that doesn't actually take place at the venue.

Party-goers also cannot sexually touch the models-as-food-trays. And if they want to eat the delicacies off their bodies? They must ask and receive verbal consent before doing so.

Hey, consent is sexy, dontcha know?

dinner served at an erotic dinner
Are you into human trays and vaudevillian spectacles?

And it goes both ways. Servers are not objects - they're servers. This mans, they're welcome to feed the guests - but only if the servers ask the guests first. This can be phrased as sensually and erotically as they want.

That's where food gets sexy!

Can I host my own erotic dinner party?

Okay, so these erotic dinner parties that you have to pay for and attend, hosted by others, are either not in your city, are way above your pay-grade or you just can't get an invite.

Never one to be dissuaded, you saucy minx, you, you've decided to take matters into your own hand and plan your own erotic dinner party.

Excellent!

You can absolutely plan your own party but, depending on how much you want to shell out, there are a couple of things you'll need. If you feel the need to hire nude models as platters of food, you'll need a sharp model hunter and a damn good lawyer to make sure you're covered.

The host of the party usually has to drop the money on the party beforehand and then charge a "cover" or price for attending. If you wanted to keep it "casual", you could certainly do a potluck, though that may make it less "classy".

You'll also need a venue, a menu of finger foods and some good ol' fashioned music. Private erotic dinner parties that are more casual and less of an event usually include friends and are not open to invitations.

In this case, you can keep it to friends of a friend or allow your invite to bring a "Plus One".

Pro-tip: START SLOWLY

You can start with keeping your erotic dinner parties to a single gender (either all male, if you're a guy or all female, if you're a woman) and then branching out based on their first experience.

If you're going to hire servers, remember that the theme is "classy" and sensual, not kitschy and ridiculous. This means that if your female servers are dressing up as sexy maids, it's not for gratification or typecasting, it's because the party has a Parisian theme, for example.

For Your Pleasure

You may have noticed an interesting side-effect of consent. Erotic dinner parties are a safe space for women for sex in particular to celebrate, demonstrate and feel safe with their bodies - in varying levels of deshabille.

While the pleasure at the center of erotic dinner parties is certainly around the experience of the "sensual" and elevating an everyday dinner party into something more "scandalous", its core aim is something far more idealistic and subversive.

Otherwise "sexualised" female bodies being normalised, made part of an everyday experience of enjoying food. Women at these dinner parties claim to feel safe - not just to bare it all but to be approached with respect and to actually have their consent adhered to.

On the one hand, it's a little sad to see that highly curated and closed-off, exclusive environments are the only "safe" spaces for women right now. On the other hand, erotic dinner parties can attract the "leerers" who, hopefully, will learn a thing or two about consent.


What an Erotic Dinner Party is Not

Ever heard of the club, "Killing Kittens?"

Well, let's just say that erotic dinner parties are nowhere near what Killing Kittens and other "sex parties" of its ilk are. They're not meant to be swingers party, where people specifically come with partners, in order to be paired off with others.


RELATED: Killing Kittens Sex Parties: Only for "Sexual Elite"


To be fair, though, erotic dinner parties are not just frat food fights gone awry, either.

Pro-tip: GET THE POINT

At their best, erotic dinners are all about the ambiance and the blend of two of our most primal (and pleasurable) urges: to EAT and to FUCK.

an erotic dinner party's culmination
Celebrate that experience within the context of consent.

If you've watched Chef's Table before, you already know that food can be elevated to art. So why can't bodies and food come together to create an artful experience of the two?

Erotic dinner parties essentially celebrate that experience within the context of consent.

Hey, that sounds pretty sexy to us.

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Image sources: (1) Fxquadro | (2) familytv | (3) oneinchpunch | Fotolia.com