Cougar dating: a natural attraction

From high profile celebrities to the people on your street and at your water cooler, cougar dating is more and more popular all the time. The youth sticks to sex sites like fuck book, but cougars mostly remained on specific dating sites. But what once was a social stigma is today just a celebration of sexy older women and what they can offer in and even out of bed. Here's why – and how – you can enjoy this hot trend of hooking up with these females.

The beauty of older women and younger men

Cougar dating is undeniably popular. According to a 2008 poll, about one-third of women aged 40 to 69 were dating men who were a full decade younger - or more. Cougar is the name for women typically over the age of 35 or so – sexy, vital, active women who are craving for casual sex out there in the dating pool. The opportunity to just meet and fuck with guys for the fun of it without having a proper relationship is attractive to both parties, especially for the men, if they are engaging in a married affair to spice up their life. Many women spend their younger years having children or going to school and building careers. It is only once they hit those golden cougar years that they can really focus on their own sexuality and pleasure – but once they do, look out!

Likewise, younger men tend to be focused on their own sexual pleasure rather than on settling down and starting a family. It's well known that women experience their sexual peak later than men do as a rule – cougar dating just takes advantage of those natural cycles in sexual life. That is when things like roleplay or BDSM come in handy. Cougar dating seems to be all the rage nowadays, making headlines with so many mature female celebrities now dating younger men – but there's nothing new about it at all. Elizabeth I, Queen of England, was known as the "Virgin Queen" - but in reality was anything but. At 48, her last lover was a mere 26 years old. Catherine the Great, Empress of Russia, was also renowned for her taste in younger men - including an affair with a prince who was 40 years younger than she!

For whatever reason, society turned the other way and came to frown on cougar dating and older women in sexual relationships in general. For many years relationships involving older women and younger men were seen as completely unacceptable and most definitely not the kind of relationship that could go public. In decades past, women were supposed to get married before the age of 25 and if they didn't, they were burdened with the moniker of "spinster" – an unpleasant image of an old hag spinning wool by the fire because she has nothing better to do. Thank goodness those days are over and older women can express their sexuality without shame. The "spinster" became a cougar – a wild, beautiful and powerful sexual animal.

Nowadays, with the social stigma long gone, older women and younger men are free to enjoy the hot, sexy cougar dating scene. There's a very good reason why cougar dating is so popular: the sex! Older women are confident in themselves and their bodies and years of sexual experience to share with their partners. Practice makes perfect! Many younger men find they learn a great deal about pleasure and pleasing women from their cougar dating partners. The confidence can be a real turn on too for younger men who are more used to dealing with younger women and their insecurities. What's more, it's easy to find partners for the encounter with entire websites devoted to cougar dating.

Tips for cougar dating

Modern cougar dating means older women and younger men are free to indulge their mutual attractions but that doesn't follow that it's always smooth sailing. Different stages of life have different priorities and may result in misunderstandings and issues. The good news is that all the problems can be avoided with a little forethought.

• Decide whether you are really open to a relationship or whether cougar dating will mean "only" wild sex on the side. Is this a relationship you can take fully public – including in front of family and friends? Or is it something for the two of you to enjoy together and preferably in bed most of the time? Either way, be up front and honest about your expectations and how far you want it to go and make sure you communicate it to your partner.
• Be respectful and open minded. This sounds easy but it's not as natural as it may seem. Even if your relationship is largely spent having wild monkey sex in a series of exotic locations, there will be those times that you have to stop, come up for air and talk. People born in different decades tend to have different tastes in music, literature, pop culture and fashion – among other things. Few things represent a more effective buzz kill than feeling disrespected because your partner is dismissive of or laughs at your taste in music because "all new music is crap nowadays" or "that's old fogey music". No matter how great the sex is, it won't survive very long if you can't muster a little mutual respect in those sorts of areas.
• Find things in common that you enjoy. Emphasizing common ground will help to minimize those awkward moments when you realize she might have gone to school with your Mom's best friend – or that he likes the same video games as your son.
• Assume you are both there because you want to be and try to leave jealousy outside the door. Don't let any silly stereotypes convince you your cougar dating partner can't really be into you because of the age gap. Just relax and have fun.
• Do take advantage of the sexual dynamics and let the sparks fly. You are two confident people with a lot of sexual energy to share so let your fantasies loose and have the best sex of your life.

It may involve two people at different stages of their life, but cougar dating really puts people together with one thing on their minds: great sex. And that's good news no matter how old you are.

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