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The Best and Worst One-liners for a Flirt.

Since Adam first plucked up the courage to strike up a conversation with the cute girl who hung out near the apple trees and, consequently, Eve decided she needed to come up with something clever to repel the advances of the guy with the weird rib-cage scarring, the search has been on for the perfect one-liner. However, good one-liner creation is far from an exact science and so a certain amount of trial and error is implied. Thomas Edison purportedly said of the first 1000 failed attempts in his quest to create the light bulb that ‘I didn’t fail, I simply discovered 1000 ways not to make a light bulb.’ Likewise, in the long history of flirting and dating, we’ve discovered a large number of ways not to open a conversation. Today, we’re taking a more detailed look at some of the worst and some of the best.

Let’s start with some stinkers.

Woman rejects a man on the couch

‘I Love Every Bone in Your Body, Especially Mine.’

The longevity of this one-liners existence seems at odds with the fact that its existence makes absolutely no sense. When exactly is this line meant to be used? As far as we understand it, catchy one-liners are meant to be a tool in a flirter’s arsenal. If you’ve been granted permission to reside your ‘bone’ in the object of your affection, it implies that you’ve both moved well beyond the flirting stage. The fact that you are still trying so hard at this point is likely to garner no better response than a raised eye-brow and a polite request to either stop talking or leave.

Oh, before I forget - on the first date you should also avoid topics like intimate piercings or whether your date would like to have a same sex experience, for obvious reasons.

‘Do You Believe in Love at First Sight... or Should I Walk by One More Time.’

The best way to flirt is to keep things light, fun and relatively non-committal. We’re pretty sure this doesn’t involve a phrase that essentially translates to ‘Have you decided to love me forever yet, or do I need to try harder’. You may have come on a little strong just doesn’t seem to quite cover it in this circumstance.

‘Hi, I’m BUY-sexual. I’d Like to BUY You a Drink, and Then Get Sexual!’

That’s not how you spell bisexual and you know it!

Girl about to slap her boyfriend's face

And Now for Something Completely Different

We’ve shown you some of the worst; now let’s give you a window into some of the best.

We have very set criteria when it comes to a great one liner. It’s got to be funny, edgy, possible even daring, yet must avoid topics like politics, religion and genocide like the plague (note: it should also avoid topics like the plague) while still managing to reveal a soft, sensitive side to your character, preferably one with hidden depths.

So without further ado, here are some of the best:

‘Is Heaven Missing an Angel, cos You’ve Got Nice Breasts’

Only kidding. We just wanted to see how you’d react. This one is, of course, not great. On with the real list! Number 1...

‘Hello, my name is (insert name here). I was watching you from across the room/saw your profile picture and thought you were very attractive.’

This one’s a real hum-dinger and has been getting people together since the times of yore (which was ages ago by the way). Its simple exterior belies a complex layering of sophistication. It opens by revealing a little something about you. However, if you want to really play with the format, you can choose to only insert your first name in the above brackets, subtly indicating to your prospective partner that while they know a little about you now, there is still something hiding beneath the surface. This adds mystery to your personae. The second line does two things very well. Firstly, it reveals that you hope this to become more than just an interaction between would-be friends and, secondly, it indicates that you have not come to this decision willy-nilly but have arrived at it by doing the requisite research. All in all, it’s an almost perfect one-liner, albeit in a two-sentence format.

And Then...

Well, as it turns, our researchers hit a bit of a brick wall after discovering the above one-liner, mainly due to the fact that it was so successful, they ended up in bed and lost the will to do any more research.

Now, were we a little lazier (or were part of that research team) we might tempted to end this article here. However, as we aren’t (and weren’t), we finish by giving you a quick overview of some quippy come-backs you need to be prepared to face when it doesn’t all go exactly as you’d hoped. Some of these may prove quite devastating but being prepared is half the battle.

‘Save Your Breath... You’ll Need It to Blow Up Your Date’

We know what you’re thinking; this one blows a little too close to the winds of truth. If you happen to encounter this powerful blowback, it’s important to bear two very important facts in mind.

  1. Even if you are on your eighth cigarette of the night, you are confident in your lung capacity and have more than enough to cover both this conversation and the inflation of your plan B option.
  2. There is nothing wrong with the love shared between one consenting adult and their rubber playmate.

‘Is Your Ass Jealous of the Amount of Crap that Just Came out of Your Mouth?’

Erm, in this situation you just have to bear in mind…. Well, you just have to focus on…..actually, on second thoughts, you’re done. Just give it up. Shut it down. Crawl home with the shreds of your dignity. Buy a cat to replace the love and attention you’d hoped to get from creatures of your own species. Get a subscription to Netflix. Order food exclusively over the internet and get your vitamin D from supplements.

Or, you could try the ol’ ‘Excuse me, I wasn’t even talking to you, I was talking to the hotter individual standing next to you’ routine. By the time they’ve turned and realized there isn’t actually anyone next to them, you’ve already pivoted 180 degrees and exited the building. You are officially bulletproof!

If you got inspired by these one liners there are plenty of hot singles waiting for you on Flirtfair. Our community has numerous of attractive men and women waiting for one night stands and affairs. Just sign up for and experience naughty adventures on our portal. Start dating now!

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Image sources: (1) anetlanda | (2) VadimGuzhva | Fotolia.com