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8 Texts You Should Never Send While Dating

These days, you'll almost certainly communicate with dates via SMS texts. Texts have become as natural as carrying an umbrella or using your credit card, and they are a great way to stay in touch. But when dating, they can also be a bit of a minefield. So here are 8 texts that you need to avoid, if you don't want to end up being deleted from your partner's phone book.

annoyed sad woman with mobile phone
Avoid a dating disaster

1. Why don't you respond to my texts?

We'll start with one that almost everyone has sent or received, and almost everyone should have avoided at all costs. Regardless of whether we're in the right, when we start guilt-tripping partners for not being in touch more often, or not showing the right depth of responses, that's not going to elicit a positive response.

So here's a pro-tip:

Instead of sounding desperate and pathetic (which is exactly what this text is), it's best to bring up communication in person, face to face. Texts just seem passive aggressive and won't help one bit.

2. Don't worry, I'm not mad at you/I've forgiven you

Another classic, this text is actually a form of gaslighting, even if you don't realize it. By saying "I'm not mad" or "I've forgiven", you're putting yourself in a position of power, and making a point of showing your superiority.

It's great to forgive people and it's never good to stay made for days about minor things, but it's also a really unhealthy habit to continually tell people when you've got over whatever offenses they may have committed. Just get on with things and let troubles blow over - or get out of a relationship that isn't functioning properly.

3. That's it. You're dumped

Nobody likes being dumped, but its a hundred times worse when you're ditched via text message. Trust me, this is one text message that nobody should send. It doesn't matter how badly behaved the other person has been, or how righteous you feel, SMS dumping is a big no-no.

In fact, whenever you have a major decision to take as a couple (and breaking up counts as a pretty big one), you've got to discuss things in person. If necessary give them a call and use your voice to lay things on the line, but don't send a text saying "UR dumped LOL" if you want to keep your self-respect intact.

4. I love you so much (30 minutes after meeting)

Sometimes the easy availability of ways to communicate is a curse, and that's definitely the case straight after meeting someone you like. After a great first date, when you've got her number and you know it's more than a one night stand, it's only natural to get excited. But don't let that slide into a torrent of texts.

So here's another pro-tip:

Give yourself a cooling off period of at least six hours after a date, or mid-day the day after. If you need to text, just keep things simple, like "I had a nice time, hope to see you soon", and nothing too affectionate. Even if your partner had a great time, they might be freaked out by excessively emotional SMS outbursts, so chill out. If it went well, you'll be back together again soon enough.

5. Oops, just seen your text. Guess we'll have to rearrange

woman in lingerie lying on a bed with a mobile phone
Don't play games to make yourself more interesting!

This one always makes me want to facepalm, but it's part of many daters' regular rotation. When someone texts and you just ignore them for a few hours, but actually want to see them again, the old lie always comes rolling out "just seen your text..."

Do yourself a favor. This kind of lie is as transparent as they come. If you just ignored her text or you were flirting on sex chat rooms, don't give your partner the impression that you're actually into them. And at least have the dignity to show how sorry you are for rearranging. As it stands, this text is pushing you straight towards the dating dumpster.

6. Texts that just go on and on, and on, and on

Sometimes, it's not the content of a text which is so damning, but how it's written. One of the biggest no-nos in this regard is sending rambling, endless texts or emails which talk around the subject instead of getting to the point.

Your partner might be interested to know every detail about your day, but remember: they can catch up at your next hookup. They probably aren't keen to respond with an avalanche of SMS text of their own, and hell - they probably won't even read every word in your endless messages. Keep things short and sweet, for a much better reception.

7. Hey baby, how's it going?

This one is another age-old classic, which is both disrespectful and lazy, (and pretty misogynistic if it comes from a guy), although the kind of people who send this type of message probably wouldn't realize.

When you first start texting someone you like, go beyond this kind of cliche. Use your partner's name, and employ respectful language, and show that you've been listening to what they've had to say. This kind of text implies that you see them as a generic "female" or "male", and not a complex human being.

8. I don't know. I'm not feeling up to it tonight

Finally, we come to the bailer, the lazy jerk, the evader of difficult situations, the procrastinator - a depressingly common character in any town or city.

When people use this kind of flat, evasive language to cancel a date or explain why they can't spend time with you, it's always a red flag that they just don't much emotional energy to share with others. They sound selfish, wrapped up in their own boredom, and lacking imagination. In other words, they sound like a pain to spend time with.

You've got to be more pro-active than this when starting relationships - so if you need to bail, give your partner a call. You might really be tired, so communicate that honestly. You'll get the benefit of the doubt.

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